Here is a client of ours sneaking around onto the Dear Carolyn advice column. We caught her. Watch this!
Dear Carolyn: A few years ago, I quit having sex with my husband. For a while, he slept on the couch, but now he’s taken to sleeping in a tent in the backyard — even in the dead of winter! It’s so embarrassing.
I’ve begged him to sleep inside, but he says he likes sleeping in the fresh air. I’m sure all our neighbors are talking about how he’s sleeping like a caveman. How can I make him come to his senses and sleep like a human being?
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When she asked us how she should fix this, we instructed her. We already told her; start having sex again. It’s why he left babe.
What you don’t know is that she originally came to us to learn how she could fail as a wife. She said to us, “what will really drive my hubby mad?” I’m Dr. Failure; I told her straight; “Put a vault lock on the coochy coochy coo…”
That’s one of the premiere ways to fail at a marriage for women. Remove intimacy, especially “the coochy coochy coo.” She did that and Buddy did not move to the basement, to the couch, no. Buddy built a tent outside and went back to the good ole “Caveman” days.
Remember the ole Nebuchadnezzar story? It took him seven years to come back to his senses, but if Carolyn was a decently attractive woman, she could have him back in his right mind in 24 to 48 hours. The Failure System!
I’m done with ya; Dr. Failure.
To learn to fail like the pros, keep scrolling your favorite social media app. To become a client of Dr. Failure, send an email to programs @ thefailuresystem.com
Dr. Failure
Creator of the Failure System
